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Download AlchemistCookbook.ipt
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Recipes, Ruminations, and Potions

This material is Open Game Content, and is licensed for public use under the terms of the Open Game License v1.0a.

To contact Advanced Photo Solutions with suggestions or feedback send an email to: advancedphotosolutions AT gmail.com

Ingredients
  • 15 gallons winter aconite
  • 1 pint cerium extract
  • 1 tablespoon Apriuse thorium chunks
  • 1/5 quart Sanonri platinum oil
  • 12 gallons Hudug bronze paste
  • 1/10 pint chopped Tirrilßnas beholder
  • 1/9 gallon chopped Fascelio solder
  • 1/4 pound lazulite broth
  • 5 tablespoons fresh Arazonihar tea rose
  • 1/4 pint dried Frdeprixtaof bull
  • 7 fluid ounces dried samarium
  • 1 gallon thorium syrup
  • 1 pound fresh Isasupius calf
  • 1 ounce indium oil
  • 23 ounces Eflemeblonien elinvar juice
  • 1 cup Tufrilin nickel seasoning
  • 1 cup fresh pigeon
  • 1 teaspoon feldspar poison
  • 1/5 gallon lapis lazuli juice
  • 22 pounds shredded hassium
  • 1 cup duck seasoning
  • 16 tablespoons zombie oil
  • 1 quart stewed Araphizoth radium
  • 1 cup crushed scorpion
  • 1 tablespoon powdered Vudpr'ku white gold
  • 1/7 pint shredded spectre
  • 1/5 cup frozen chrome
  • 22 ounces ogre syrup


  • Directions
    Put cream in a medium pan and heat but do not boil. Mix all the monster ingredients in a seperate wok, add 9 cups of boiling water, reduce mixture over heat, and place in pan. Add all remaining ingredients to the pan, stirring frequently. Add flour to preserve as needed. Seperate liquids into a seperate stewpot. Reduce mixture to 1/4 by cooking for 51 minutes. Serve.

    Garnish with
  • 1 pint aquamarine paste


  • Notes - Sorted by Age and Relevance*
    Amxqukedta, Onstren's handbook showed that there is a 42% chance this recipe may cause coughing, devil chills, kidney failure, vertigo. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from amebiasis, beriberi, herpes, Lyme disease, mastitis, muscular dystrophy, shingles, stroke. If negative symptoms develop, see a shaman immediately.

    Flayn, Letitus's experiments showed that wizard's have up to 19% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Telowael's tome indicated that Amphisbaena's have a 3% immunity to 1/3 of the effects of this recipe.

    ThaŠnian, Aerowanlir's experiments showed that true neutral aligned characters are at 32% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Laboratory studies have concluded that chaotic neutral, neutral evil, lawful good and chaotic evil aligned characters are at 15% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Personal records showed that chaotic good aligned characters have a 82% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Teuilet's study showed that fighter, soldier and sorcerer's are at 62% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Codronius, Dochyasamiel's observation indicated that wizard's are at 31% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Personal record concluded that Human, Elf, and Gnome's are at 70% more risk to 1/3 of the effects of this recipe.

    Pocu, Potunca's journal showed that the victim must make 10 successful Fortitude saving throws in a row to recover from any illnesses caused from this recipe.

    Yayufepia's handbook showed that 41% of people who ate from this recipe experienced up to 3 of the following symptoms: apnea, artificial insemination, bedwetting, dementia, dizziness, height growth of at least 1/8 inch, hemorrhoids, ingrown toenails, menorrhagia, muscular atrophy, rosacea. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from adenitis, amebic dysentry, arteriosclerosis, cellulitis, Crohn's disease, lung cancer, malaria, neuropathy, polio, smallpox. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Quiacumo, Ei, Fiuitam's essays indicated that there is a 41% chance that character will become addicted or dependant to the recipe. Addiction will require 7+(Number of days addicted) successful Will savings rolls to cure.

    Fagnatipso's reports indicated that 36% of people who ate from this recipe experienced the following symptoms: age reversal, anemia, angina, choking, dementia, double vision, hallucinations, ingrown toenails, mindfire, subtraction of 3 levels per serving, temperature 10░F warmer than normal, upset stomach. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from cardiac arrest, conjunctivitis, diptheria, gastric ulcers, high blood pressure, hyperactive thyroid, infantile paralysis, louse. If negative symptoms persist, see a shaman immediately.

    Thurgug, Duboin, BrufrŰn's observations concluded that Medusa's are at 81% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Taposcie, Praei, Quoeque's grimoires showed that the victim must make 9 successful Fortitude saving throws in a row to recover from any illnesses caused from this recipe.

    Ezd'stihirweiz, Istiihmutfv, Wigtuh'frah'or's manuals indicated that this may cause the following symptoms: angina, bad breath, blurred vision, cysts, double vision, freckles, hair growth up to 5 inches, inability to cast any spells, itching, muscular atrophy, priapism, rosacea, sneezing, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from adenocarcinoma, bubonic plague, cerebrospinal fever, chlamydia, chronic fatigue disorder, contact dermatitis, croup, dengue, leukemia, louse, lupus, malaria, multiple sclerosis, tuberculosis. If negative symptoms develop, see an alchemist immediately.

    Melarrieth, ┴erorbrilbrril, Malelni's records showed that Drake's are at 85% more risk to 1/4 of the effects of this recipe.

    Efimien, Cradus, Yflukro's handbooks showed that the victim must make 4 successful Fortitude saving throws in a row to recover from any illnesses caused from this recipe.

    Blenapien's tome indicated that 1 in 65 people experienced 10 or more of the following symptoms: age reversal, anal leakage, aneurysm, bad breath, blurred vision, cataplexy, cramps, eunuchoidism, hallucinations, hot flashes, incontinence, itching, menorrhagia, rosacea, sneezing, vertigo, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from amebic dysentry, cardiac arrest, cerebrospinal fever, diptheria, gingivitis, glaucoma, heart attack, herpes, Hodgkin's disease, hookworm, kala-azar, lockjaw, Lyme disease, measles, pertussis, shingles, snail fever, thrush, trachoma. If negative symptoms develop, see an alchemist immediately.

    Emephedyeque, Yade, Epimisse's study showed that paladin and wizard's have a 96% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Phuyu, Symus's experiment indicated that there is a 10% chance that the cook will obtain a natural immunity to any negative side-effects.

    Sunomi, Arafa's report indicated that there is a 5% chance that character will become addicted or dependant to the recipe. Addiction will require 9+(Number of days addicted) successful Will savings rolls in a row to cure.

    Kyleiriel's essays showed that there is a 10% chance that additional servings will aggravate any negative symptoms by a factor of 5.

    Personal codexes indicated that 1 in 39 people experienced the following symptoms: age reversal, anemia, artificial insemination, cataplexy, cramps, delierium, dementia, filth fever, hallucinations, ingrown toenails, menorrhagia, skin color changes. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from arteriosclerosis, arthritis, cerebrospinal fever, endocarditis, hyperactive thyroid, hypoglycemia, lockjaw, pernicious anemia, pinkeye, strep throat. If negative symptoms persist, see a healer immediately.

    Ufrikrinuus, Akrelynaue's encyclopedia concluded that Halfling's are at 85% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Ietdii's records showed that when damaged by this recipe, character must succeed on another saving throw or 8 points of damage is permanent drain instead.






    * Because of variations in test conditions, recorded studies may have yielded varying results. Newer studies are generally more accurate than older studies, but it is ultimately up to the GM to interpret these results.

    Copyright © 2003-2006, NBOS Software. "Dwarven Beserker" and "Relic" art by V. Shane.