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Download AlchemistCookbook.ipt
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Recipes, Ruminations, and Potions

This material is Open Game Content, and is licensed for public use under the terms of the Open Game License v1.0a.

To contact Advanced Photo Solutions with suggestions or feedback send an email to: advancedphotosolutions AT gmail.com

Ingredients
  • 4 pints partially hydrogenated Uticu sparrow
  • 8 teaspoons chopped bladderwort
  • 1/10 cup partially hydrogenated terbium
  • 1 fluid ounce sliced Egoclaque antimony
  • 14 gallons Chiqa harebell poison
  • 16 pounds onion salt poison
  • 10 gallons neodymium chunks
  • 1 pound chopped Aprepharus amethyst
  • 1 gallon boogeyman seasoning


  • Directions
    Put cream in a medium pan and heat to 283. Add 1/4 of the ingredients to the pan and bring to a slow simmer. Add all remaining ingredients to the pan, stirring slowly. Add cream to taste. Pour mixture into a seperate double boiler. Broil mixture for 80 minutes. Servecold.

    Garnish with
  • 1 gallon shredded bird
  • 1/5 quart frozen spectre
  • 1/4 pound Otecryefragiel pectolite dressing
  • 12 teaspoons sliced Quaetum rubidium


  • Notes - Sorted by Age and Relevance*
    Uv'rysox, Ryphod, Niyihdr'qol's encyclopedias indicated that 78% of people who ate from this recipe experienced 9 or more of the following symptoms: albinism, atrophy, blurred vision, devil chills, eunuchoidism, hallucinations, inability to cast arcane spells, mummy rot, paranoia, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from adenitis, AIDS or other autoimmune deficiencies, amebiasis, beriberi, cerebrospinal fever, Crohn's disease, louse, pertussis. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Personal handbooks concluded that neutral good and chaotic neutral aligned characters are at 68% more risk to 1/5 of the effects of this recipe.

    Adyesenam, Zowus's records showed that the victim must make 12 successful Fortitude saving throws in a row to recover from any illnesses caused from this recipe.

    Nielleniel's manual indicated that each time the victim takes 9 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be permanently blinded.

    Personal experiments have shown that when damaged by this recipe, character must succeed on another saving throw or 13 points of damage is permanent drain instead.

    Vkysh, Oztupusw, Pyupzeexosze's tomes indicated that there is a 27% chance that additional servings will aggravate any negative symptoms by a factor of 5.

    Idnonpa's cookbooks showed that successful saves do not allow the character to recover. Only magical healing can save the character.

    Cremoet, Absmicogno's study concluded that there is a 82% chance that the cook will obtain a magical immunity to any side-effects.

    Ohigyyn's codex indicated that each time the victim takes 12 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or 1/7 of all damage incurred is permanent.

    * Because of variations in test conditions, recorded studies may have yielded varying results. Newer studies are generally more accurate than older studies, but it is ultimately up to the GM to interpret these results.

    Copyright © 2003-2006, NBOS Software. "Dwarven Beserker" and "Relic" art by V. Shane.