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Download AlchemistCookbook.ipt
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Recipes, Ruminations, and Potions

This material is Open Game Content, and is licensed for public use under the terms of the Open Game License v1.0a.

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  • 1/6 pint Teme dendrite paste
  • 25 gallons erbium seasoning
  • 12 quarts chopped red bear
  • 1 cup calla lily chunks
  • 1 teaspoon essence of Wong titanium
  • 1/10 teaspoon essence of yttrium

  • Directions
    Put water in a small wok and heat to 116°. Roast all the mineral ingredients in a seperate wok, add 9 cups of boiling water, reduce mixture over heat, and pour over remaining ingredients. Add all remaining ingredients to the wok, stirring occasionally. Add flour to taste as needed. Pour mixture into a seperate Dutch oven. Let mixture simmer 51 minutes. Sprinkle with partially hydrogenated pigeon and serveat room temperature.

    Garnish with
  • 1 fluid ounce fresh cave bear
  • 1 fluid ounce fresh agapanthus
  • 1/4 cup chopped Avmu bull

  • Notes - Sorted by Age and Relevance*
    Ticepraria's scrolls indicated that 1 in 133 people experienced 9 or more of the following symptoms: albinism, artificial insemination, autism, bedwetting, cataplexy, dementia, height growth of at least 1/8 inch, hemorrhoids, menorrhagia, rosacea, sneezing. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from AIDS or other autoimmune deficiencies, bubonic plague, cancer, chlamydia, gingivitis, gonorrhea, leprosy, Lyme disease, smallpox, snail fever, stroke, tapeworm, toxicosis. If negative symptoms develop, see a wizard immediately.

    Personal tests have concluded that barbarian, farmer and druid's have a 59% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Shrobenessa, Pivi's tomes indicated that rogue's are at 74% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Skitli's observation indicated that Elf, and Dwarf's have a 29% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Autgira, Cuinertu, Quacoquodi's tome indicated that Hydra, Hobgoblin, Ogre, Giant, and Hobbit's are at 15% more risk to 1/5 of the effects of this recipe.

    Brøfën, Brøbrrin, Komnan's observations indicated that Merman's have up to 33% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Chachijien's scrolls concluded that paladin, cleric, rogue and merchant's are at 85% more risk to 1/3 of the effects of this recipe.

    Tyrrillan, Maralinion's observations concluded that Boogeyman, Wight, Chimera, and Mermaid's have up to 65% immunity to any effects of this recipe.

    Irczahoppr's essays showed that there is a 6% chance that the cook will obtain a magical immunity to 72% of the side-effects.

    Ecrodrikus, Uphefleximia's treatises concluded that each time the victim takes 10 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be blinded.

    Bromodang, Emuumadur, Crumok's guide showed that there is a 41% chance this recipe may cause age reversal, anal leakage, anemia, aneurysm, apnea, artificial insemination, cackle fever, coughing, ectopic pregnancy, fugues, height shrinkage of at least 1/10 inch, inability to cast divine spells, kidney failure, priapism, rosacea, sneezing, vertigo, vomiting, warts, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from chickenpox, chronic fatigue disorder, conjunctivitis, diptheria, dysentery, emphysema, heart attack, low blood pressure, lung cancer, pinkeye, polio, stroke. If negative symptoms persist, see a shaman immediately.

    Independant laboratory observations have concluded that sorcerer's have up to 83% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Thamuggak, G'ggadang's treatises indicated that when damaged by this recipe, character must succeed on another saving throw or 16 points of damage is permanent drain instead.

    * Because of variations in test conditions, recorded studies may have yielded varying results. Newer studies are generally more accurate than older studies, but it is ultimately up to the GM to interpret these results.

    Copyright © 2003-2006, NBOS Software. "Dwarven Beserker" and "Relic" art by V. Shane.