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Download AlchemistCookbook.ipt
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Recipes, Ruminations, and Potions

This material is Open Game Content, and is licensed for public use under the terms of the Open Game License v1.0a.

To contact Advanced Photo Solutions with suggestions or feedback send an email to: advancedphotosolutions AT gmail.com

Ingredients
  • 1 quart dried wild ox
  • 1 pint Ap'zem steel poison
  • 23 cups Ugique efreeti juice
  • 1 teaspoon fresh Fenontiam giant ant
  • 7 tablespoons Sirae radium flakes
  • 1 cup frozen knapweed
  • 19 tablespoons poltergeist dressing
  • 21 teaspoons Melasrasnæl dinosaur poison
  • 1/3 quart Gadung zircon broth
  • 1/4 fluid ounce Arasilæl ytterbium oil
  • 1 cup Trryakdrazor elinvar juice
  • 13 pounds Asdoxovc topaz
  • 1 teaspoon frozen Idoclotus white gold
  • 4 fluid ounces sliced pyrite
  • 1 quart auricula poison
  • 1 quart lion flakes
  • 1/9 pound powdered Qihric'afzeu francium
  • 1/9 gallon stewed nickel
  • 1/7 quart Ozstku trapdoor spider poison
  • 1/3 teaspoon fresh fox
  • 1/2 quart Ilvyjakshy fire opal dressing
  • 1 pound fluorite seasoning
  • 24 ounces lutetium extract
  • 1/7 gallon holmium oil
  • 1/3 ounce diced biotite
  • 7 quarts sliced Clafyzenar turmeric
  • 1 teaspoon Tyradanlir chili powder juice
  • 1/10 cup chopped dogwood
  • 1 gallon stewed salpiglossis
  • 1/3 ounce sliced Clige barite
  • 1 fluid ounce stewed Thoga boronite
  • 1 pint shredded Ærandal adamite


  • Directions
    Put beer in a small pan and heat to 159°. Puree all the monster ingredients in a seperate pitcher, add 2 cups of boiling water, reduce mixture over heat, and pour over remaining ingredients. Add all remaining ingredients to the pan, stirring occasionally. Add flour to season as needed. Seperate liquids into a seperate Dutch oven. Reduce mixture to 1/3 by simmering for 36 minutes. Serveat room temperature.

    Garnish with
  • 1/9 quart dried permalloy


  • Notes - Sorted by Age and Relevance*
    Tyreiri, Meranadol, Merelas's handbook concluded that 1 in 230 people experienced 9 or more of the following symptoms: addition of 4 negative levels per serving, artificial insemination, asthma, atopy, blurred vision, cataplexy, chills, choking, delierium, freckles, hemorrhoids, itching, mummy rot, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from adenitis, beriberi, endocarditis, gonorrhea, gout, leukemia, melanoma, mumps, neuropathy, peritonitis, pernicious anemia, pneumonia, rabies, shingles, smallpox, stroke. If negative symptoms develop, see a shaman immediately.

    Independant laboratory observations have concluded that Human's are at 97% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Laboratory studies have concluded that there is a 89% chance that any illnesses contracted from eating this recipe are communicable. All players within 134 feet must make a Fortitude saving roll or risk becoming infected.

    Thaadiel's manuals indicated that 71% of people who ate from this recipe experienced the following symptoms: alopecia, anemia, angina, artificial insemination, cataplexy, chills, coughing, dementia, fugues, hair growth up to 1 inch, inability to cast arcane spells, menorrhagia, muscular atrophy, sneezing, vomiting, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from arthritis, strep throat, tetanus, thrush, trachoma. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Personal test concluded that chaotic good and neutral good aligned characters have a 46% immunity to 1/3 of the effects of this recipe.

    Eshechanien's reports concluded that there is a 90% chance that character will become addicted or dependant to the recipe. Addiction will require 2+(Number of days addicted) successful Will savings rolls in a row to cure.

    Independant laboratory tests have concluded that there is a 77% chance this recipe may cause anemia, bad breath, cataplexy, gender reversal, muscular atrophy, vertigo, vomiting, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from amebiasis, cellulitis, chickenpox, cold and fever symptoms, diptheria, dysentery, epilepsy, gingivitis, gonorrhea, Hodgkin's disease, laryngitis, thrush. If negative symptoms persist, see an alchemist immediately.

    Miquodecuius, Motum, Retapro's journal concluded that Halfling's are at 67% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Doegrauiussse, Direpo, Mefiee's tests concluded that when damaged by this recipe, character must succeed on another saving throw or 15 points of damage is permanent drain instead.

    Eanonbus's handbooks concluded that the victim must make 11 successful Fortitude saving throws in a row to recover from any illnesses caused from this recipe.

    Grakhög's guide concluded that successful saves do not allow the character to recover. Only magical healing can save the character.

    Personal handbooks showed that each time the victim takes 25 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or all damage incurred is permanent.

    Sudetugni's guides indicated that there is a 68% chance that character will become addicted or dependant to the recipe. Addiction will require 6+(Number of days addicted) successful Will savings rolls to cure.

    Personal experiments have shown that there is a 61% chance that the cook will obtain a natural immunity to any negative side-effects.

    Laboratory experiments have indicated that 63% of people who ate from this recipe experienced 9 or more of the following symptoms: albinism, anemia, aneurysm, artificial insemination, asthma, autism, dementia, eunuchoidism, saving rolls –3 per serving, upset stomach, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from amebiasis, chickenpox, chlamydia, cholera, Crohn's disease, croup, dysentery, emphysema, genital herpes, laryngitis, leukemia, louse, lupus, pertussis, trachoma, tuberculosis. If negative symptoms persist, see a wizard immediately.

    Vyabru, Echikre's record concluded that Fire Giant, and Cave Bear's have a 99% immunity to 1/4 of the effects of this recipe.

    Quissense's experiments indicated that each time the victim takes 4 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be permanently blinded.

    Personal manual indicated that this may cause the following symptoms: blurred vision, coughing, menorrhagia. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from dysentery, dystrophy, emphysema, gonorrhea, hyperactive thyroid, pernicious anemia, pertussis, stroke. If negative symptoms develop, see a shaman immediately.

    Tuqopus's handbooks indicated that lawful neutral, chaotic neutral, lawful evil and lawful good aligned characters are at 61% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Ikgricm's handbooks showed that each time the victim takes 3 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be fatigued.

    Brolmön, Fogrin's codex indicated that 1 in 173 people experienced the following symptoms: age reversal, alopecia, apnea, atrophy, blurred vision, chills, devil chills, double vision, dry mouth, freckles, inability to cast any spells, menorrhagia, mummy rot, rosacea. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from croup, gonorrhea. If negative symptoms develop, see a wizard immediately.

    Ofrifien's treatises concluded that neutral evil and true neutral aligned characters are at 54% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Personal observations concluded that each time the victim takes 5 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be confused.




    * Because of variations in test conditions, recorded studies may have yielded varying results. Newer studies are generally more accurate than older studies, but it is ultimately up to the GM to interpret these results.

    Copyright © 2003-2006, NBOS Software. "Dwarven Beserker" and "Relic" art by V. Shane.