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Download AlchemistCookbook.ipt
The Alchemist's Cookbook
Recipes, Ruminations, and Potions

This material is Open Game Content, and is licensed for public use under the terms of the Open Game License v1.0a.

To contact Advanced Photo Solutions with suggestions or feedback send an email to: advancedphotosolutions AT gmail.com

Ingredients
  • 1/5 pint powdered snark
  • 25 pounds partially hydrogenated pewter
  • 20 cups Brorilin cow chunks
  • 1/9 fluid ounce pink gold oil
  • 1/4 gallon Tenasnni solder poison
  • 1/4 pint Idwpyat agate paste
  • 1/2 pound fresh Krofyogywiel beryllium
  • 1/4 tablespoon shredded rudbeckia
  • 1/2 cup stewed neptunium
  • 1 quart sliced thorium
  • 1/4 pint bronze syrup
  • 1 fluid ounce Muowemuhdr dysprosium oil
  • 11 pints chrysoprase oil


  • Directions
    Put whiskey in a large pan and heat to 283°. Add 1/3 of the ingredients to the pan and bring to a slow simmer. Add remaining ingredients to the pan 1 at a time, stirring slowly. Add whey as needed. Pour mixture into a seperate pot. Let mixture simmer 41 minutes. Sprinkle with powdered goblin and serveat room temperature.

    Garnish with
  • 13 pints Dhomnili graphite steel oil
  • 25 quarts tantalum chunks
  • 1/3 pound powdered Joevmraidfab chrysoberyl


  • Notes - Sorted by Age and Relevance*
    Khelmur's tests showed that 99% of people who ate from this recipe experienced up to 9 of the following symptoms: anal leakage, blurred vision, cramps, dizziness, hallucinations, inability to cast any spells, ingrown toenails, priapism, rosacea, skill checks –1 per serving, sneezing. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from chlamydia, cholera, coronary heart disease, diptheria, dysentery, emphysema, glaucoma, heart attack, leprosy, malaria, melanoma, pernicious anemia, strep throat. If negative symptoms develop, see a shaman immediately.

    Theiryn, Ælarorbral, Málorbrareth's essay showed that Drow's are at 60% more risk to 1/5 of the effects of this recipe.

    Huicuelmi, Supe's grimoire concluded that there is a 97% chance that additional servings will aggravate any negative symptoms by a factor of 8.

    Personal grimoire showed that each time the victim takes 7 or more damage from this recipe, he must make another Fortitude save or be temporarily blinded.

    Clano, Vanu's encyclopedias concluded that successful saves do not allow the character to recover. Only magical healing can save the character.

    Icrisar, Flovus's observations showed that this may cause the following symptoms: albinism, asthma, bedwetting, demon fever, incontinence, menorrhagia, paranoia, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, black lung, cerebrospinal fever, chlamydia, croup, diptheria, gonorrhea, heart attack, smallpox, toxicosis. If negative symptoms develop, see a wizard immediately.

    Elriiel, Malrini, Thrarillan's experiments concluded that soldier, paladin, ranger and druid's are at 15% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Sano, Shoque, Yprerolosa's cookbooks indicated that there is a 87% chance that character will become addicted or dependant to the recipe. Addiction will require 9+(Number of days addicted) successful Will savings rolls to cure.

    Odiwe, Dukovus, Awayn's guides showed that 72% of people who ate from this recipe experienced the following symptoms: albinism, alopecia, anemia, aneurysm, coughing, cramps, devil chills, double vision, fugues, incontinence, zits. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from cellulitis, croup, diverticulosis, endocarditis, Lyme disease, mastitis, neuropathy. If negative symptoms develop, see a healer immediately.

    Wokoshryech, Brelien's codexes showed that lawful neutral and true neutral aligned characters have up to 16% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Toiti's experiment indicated that Werewolf's are at 73% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Nicias, Etyche's study concluded that Chimera, Beholder, Roc, Kraken, and Ankheg's have up to 53% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Thririinbræl, Silædnal's journals concluded that Hobbit, Jinn, Poltergeist, Gremlin, Stirges, and Griffin's are at 89% more risk to the effects of this recipe.

    Laboratory observations have concluded that Stone Giant's have a 67% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Shotinias's experiments showed that there is a 74% chance that the cook will obtain a magical immunity to 1% of the side-effects.

    Griat's handbook concluded that 1 in 211 people experienced up to 7 of the following symptoms: age reversal, albinism, apnea, artificial insemination, bad breath, blurred vision, cataplexy, choking, delierium, dry mouth, eunuchoidism, ingrown toenails, itching, menorrhagia, mummy rot, sneezing. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from Addison's disease, cerebrospinal fever, cholera, chronic fatigue disorder, cold and fever symptoms, dengue, hookworm, leprosy, malaria, multiple sclerosis, mumps, neuropathy, peritonitis, polio, rabies, yellow fever. If negative symptoms develop, see a wizard immediately.

    Melaenilbras, Arowlan, Rinalilni's experiments indicated that neutral good aligned characters have up to 60% immunity to the effects of this recipe.

    Diesne, Aemira, Honsiprae's tomes showed that there is a 58% chance that any illnesses contracted from eating this recipe are communicable. All players within 407 feet must make a Fortitude saving roll or risk becoming infected.

    Potale, Indi's grimoire concluded that 1 in 196 people experienced the following symptoms: anal leakage, anemia, aneurysm, asthma, choking, dementia, double vision, filth fever, height growth of at least 2 inches, hemorrhoids, inability to cast arcane spells, kidney failure, mindfire, mummy rot, upset stomach, warts. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from cold and fever symptoms, emphysema, tuberculosis. If negative symptoms develop, see a shaman immediately.

    Karmrin's journal concluded that Gnome's are at 63% more risk to 1/6 of the effects of this recipe.

    Greda, Prouitassem's experiments concluded that there is a 91% chance that character will become addicted or dependant to the recipe. Addiction will require 4+(Number of days addicted) successful Will savings rolls to cure.

    Gwekrattle's tests concluded that there is a 89% chance this recipe may cause albinism, delierium. Do not eat if you or a family member are pregnant, nursing, of childbearing age, have a history of or are at risk from adenitis, amebic dysentry, diptheria, kala-azar, leprosy, polio, strep throat. If negative symptoms develop, see an alchemist immediately.

    Bodus, Gruvrar's experiments indicated that cleric's are at 70% more risk to any effects of this recipe.

    Quireffi, Grane, Cumiamqua's grimoire showed that there is a 97% chance that the cook will obtain a natural immunity to 37% of the side-effects.








    * Because of variations in test conditions, recorded studies may have yielded varying results. Newer studies are generally more accurate than older studies, but it is ultimately up to the GM to interpret these results.

    Copyright © 2003-2006, NBOS Software. "Dwarven Beserker" and "Relic" art by V. Shane.