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Joe Mays' Tabloid Headline Generator

The National Report


Slowly, Every Rhino Being Controlled By Men From Outer-Space: They May Rise Up To Rule The World

Inside sources revealed today that....

Popular Secret Mirror


8 Eyed Squirrel Born In Pennsylvania

Inside sources revealed today that....

Top-Secret Herald


Finally, The Truth About Yetis

Scientists are baffled by ....

The Democratic Extra


Disabled Infant Finds Head In Meat Freezer

It has long been rumoured that ....

Celebrity Free Gossip


Kofi Annan Has Been Videotaped By The Communist Party

In what is already being called the news story of the decade ....

The Free Nebraska Enquirer


Zebra-Boy Confesses "My Family Were Ancient Gods"

It will come as no surprise to readers of this publication that....

The Entertainment Letter


Cattle Mutilations The Work Of Savage Tribe!

Reports continue to come in concerning ....

The Reader's International Speculator


Fearless Elephant Finds Way Home From Iowa

Speaking from the trailer court where the incident was witnessed....

People's Snooper


Elderly Woman Works For Canadian Prime-Minister!

How long will it be before something is done about ....

Hollywood Letter


Elephant Finds Way Home From Washington After Being Accidentally Left Behind!

Last seen in Chicago ....


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